Reminder on the power of being needed as a Mama

I have to admit, it’s been really nice getting used to being at the point in my motherhood journey that my kiddos frequently have sleepovers. For many years, until my Son was at least 7, they rarely happened, usually 1 night a few times/year, and he wasn’t super excited about it. Now, at 10, at least a few nights/week, their friends are here, or mine are at 1 of 2 of their best friends houses. One week, my Son had his friend over 2 nights in a row, then my Son was there 3 nights in a row! Us Mamas have a hard time saying no as long as the kiddos get enough sleep so they aren’t crabby, and the kids continue to get along well and help around the house as asked to. My Son and his bestie just can’t seem to get enough of each other. Often during the days and nights that my kids are away I’m working, either in the greenhouses during the day, or just getting stuff done around my home at night.

This weekend I had plans to see some friends from out of town who would be in my neck of the woods for the weekend only. I hadn’t seen some of them in close to a year. One of my friends is moving out of state next week so it was a good bye party for him as well. I had it on my calendar for weeks. None of them have children, and a few short years ago I would’ve said sorry, I’ll be home with the kids, hubby will come, you guys have fun. So it felt so wonderful to be able to say YES, my kiddos can go to their friends, I’ll be there. I’ve been missing this crew so badly. A couple of the guys I went to school with since kindergarten and they truly are like brothers to me. I worked during the day and my son was so anxious to go to his friends house I dropped him off in the morning, and said I’d bring his sister after work (they have 1 boy & 1 girl, same age as my kids, it’s so perfect!), then we’d go to the party. I was SO excited to see my friends, I was truly giddy. I pack up a bunch of snacks and other things for the kids, and go to drop my daughter off, and my Son is lying on the couch at friends house looking miserable. Oh no, what’s wrong I ask? I have a terrible headache 😦 And he looked just awful. He used to get headaches semi-frequently, and they would just take him out. I’ve never had a migraine, but it’s what I imagine a migraine would do to you. He seemed pretty hot so I grabbed a fan and asked if he could try to take a nap on their couch, but he broke down in tears and said can I please go home Mama? My heart sank. But there was no way I could make him stay there, nor could I possibly enjoy an evening with friends knowing my kiddo didn’t feel well. He kept apologizing: sorry Mama, I know you don’t get to see your friends often. Sorry Mama, I know tonight meant a lot to you. My heart broke for him. So I left my daughter there, told my Hubby to go the party without me (of course sick kiddos only have eyes for Mama), and went home. My Son took a bath and we snuggled on the couch, I rubbed his temples and he immediately passed out hard on our couch in front of a fan. I looked at the clock, hmmm, it’s only 5:30 (friends were playing yard games so wanted day light hours too), maybe my Son can still recover and I can go, the best of both worlds? We’ll have to see. I laid next to him feeling sorry for myself, but also remembering how powerful it is to be a Mama. He wants ME. No one else. The comfort of our home and his Mamas snuggles. How could anything in the world be more important? And he was just reminded that YES, I will drop anything, anytime, and be there for him no matter what. He’s 10, but I know those teenage years are coming fast, and he needs to know he can call me in the middle of the night and YES I will be there no matter what. He slept for 2 hours, woke up, sat up, and said: Mom, I’m ready to go back. I just needed a nap. And we loaded up, I took him back, where he actually spent 2 nights, he just got home a bit and had an amazing time. And I was with my friends by 8:00, got to surprise them with my presence and we had an epic night of reconnecting and laughing so much our bellies hurt. And not once did I have to worry about how my kids were doing, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I wanted to share this as a reminder that there will always be struggles, always the need to put ourselves last as Mamas, but there are also immense rewards and joys. As they grow, we are needed less and less, but we are still needed. It felt amazing to put my needs last, but then still be rewarded with the feeling that I did the right thing, and got to enjoy an amazing night with friends too. Heart & soul are fully recharged. At least for now 🙂

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